I'm so sweet!

This morning Thatcher came into my room and climbed up on my bed; as we were laying there playing, I noticed that he had a pretty stuffed up nose. I was teasing him a bit as I held up a piece of paper that had a teddy bear on it and said, "Here Thatcher, smell this." He did and then I asked him what it smelled like, he got a big smile on his face and said, "Chocolate!!!" I laughed so hard. So then I really wanted to test him, I said "Thatcher smell my armpit!" He leaned over and smelled my elbow and said "MMmmmmm, CHOCOLATE!!!"

Wow, really? ;)

The age of discretion...

Jason and I have often talked about "what is the right age for us to start being more discrete when going to the bathroom in front of our children." You know, because there are times when your kids are so little that for a mom to go into the bathroom and shut the door inflicts feelings of panic so significant you might as well have dropped your child off in a foreign land all alone. So we instigated the "open door policy". Sure kids, come on in! Play on the floor, check out what's in the cupboards, throw pieces of cheese in the tub....but don't mind me, I'll just be sittin' over here in the corner mindin' my own business.

So a year or two may pass....and somehow the open door policy has remained....until you hear a little conversation like this:

Daddy: Come on Dallin lets put your big boy underwear on.

Dallin: NNNNNooooooooo, I want to wear a diaper.

Daddy: What?! You don't want to wear a diaper! You want to be a big boy. Does Daddy wear diapers?

Dallin: No....

Daddy: Does Mommy wear diapers?

Dallin: YES! Mommy wears tiny diapers!!!

That's it!

Time to be discreet.

That's it! You're grounded!

So after today, I have decided to ground....myself.

No more grocery shopping!

I went to Safeway today for 4 gallons of milk and when I came out, the cart was overflowing and I had spent over $100 bucks! The good news is that I saved over $80, so my $180 purchase was about 45% off!?!?! Now, you may all be thinking that I bought a lot of junk or things that we really didn't need, but no. Everything that went into my basket was food that we will actually eat and use.....

See, here is my thought process.....

"Wow, beans are on sale for $.79"

"Hmmmm, it's really rare to find them that cheap"

"I better buy 20"

or this....

"Now lets see.... if I buy 10 boxes of cheerios I can get them all for $1 instead of $1.50"

"Wow, regularly they are $3.99"

"Hmmmm, I better buy 20."

I probably only bought 10 items, but doing the math....10 items and 20 of each item....wow that is like 200 items. That's a fabulous deal. And it is! Sometimes I surprise myself with how sly I can be when it comes to the art of stocking up to save money.

At the check out, the bagger asked if I wanted help out to my car.

"No, thanks....but if you wouldn't mind following me home, unloading the groceries from the trunk and finding some place for all of this to go....that'd be mighty helpful!"

Have a nice day.

My Mother Always Said..."Never wear underwear with a hole in it!"

That's right! After all, you never know when you could be in a car accident and the EMT would have to cut your pants off....there you would be wearing underwear with a hole in it. Totally. Humiliated.

Now as an adult, I have thought long and hard about this little goody and I have to say that I completely agree with my mother's logic. You just never know when something like that is going to happen and it's better to be safe than sorry.

Now, my dilemma is this: Two days ago I was washing a load of whites and when I went to throw the freshly bleached load into the dryer, I noticed that a pair of Dallin's navy blue skivvies had somehow gone through the load as well....they came out looking like this...

(I wasn't sure how he would feel in a few years about me posting a picture of his new tie dyed pink underwear for all the free-world to oogle over, so this visual aid will have to do.)

I know I could talk him into wearing them. Yes, at age 3, I could make pink tie dye underwear sound almost as cool as Lightning McQueen, but am I running the risk of:

1. Giving him a complex that he will have to deal with later in life.

2. Getting a comment from an EMT like..."Whoa this Mother has her poor son wearing pink tie dyed underwear!"

I just don't know....is "wearing pink tie dye" in the same category as "wearing underwear with a hole in it?"

What do you think?

Watch what you think...someone may be listening...

My freshman year at Utah State was such an eye opening experience for me. I remember those first few days walking through campus to get to my classes and noticing 2 things right off:

1. Everyone walked to classes with their heads held high, a little bounce in their step and perma-grin plastered all over their face (myself included!) Everyone made eye contact and said "Hi" as you passed each other in the halls or on campus. Eagerness permeated the air and you could just smell every one's desire for relationships as you walked to classes.

2. All the labels that were put on you from high school (whether you liked it or not) were suddenly removed. *Poof* That's right, I was no longer: the athletic (but not aggressive enough) girl, or the girl that hung out with the popular girls but wasn't exactly popular herself...girl. It was a new day, I was a new me....and I loved every minute of it.

Now, along with all this eagerness and bliss also came a fear that constricted my throat and made me sweat on days that it was 40 degrees. It was called "The fear of looking spiritually shallow to return missionaries of the opposite sex". This fear permeated my being especially on days that I had institute and Sunday's at church. I know now that this is silly, but it was all a part of growing up and learning to stretch myself. Because of this paranoia, you would NEVER have found me volunteering to read a scripture (because what if I didn't read it well?), I would NEVER have made a comment (what if it was lame?) and each Sunday I prayed (ironic, I know) that I wouldn't be asked to say the prayer in sacrament meeting.

I remember on our last Sunday of the year, we had a 2 hour testimony meeting instead of having the usually 3 hour block. After the last person bore their testimony and the counselor in the bishopric got up to close the meeting, I remember thinking "Wow, I made it my whole freshman year without being asked to pray in sacrament meeting once...."

It wasn't 2 seconds later that the member of the Bishopric said...."we'd like to close the meeting by singing on page ???? Oh! and lets see, I didn't ask anyone to say the closing prayer." At this point my heart started racing and I already knew I was in for it. He looked down at the congregation and over the pulpit singled me out from everybody. "Jen, would you mind giving the prayer?" I almost lay down on the bench and died right there. "Sure!" I replied with a huge grin...like it was all I ever wanted in life and it was no biggie. Needless to say I got through the experience and hundreds of others that followed but I also thought...

That was weird.

do do do...... ;)

That's a first!

About a week and a half ago I took Dallin and Thatcher to McDonald's. Dallin had so much fun playing on the playground that he only had about 2 bites of his hamburger. Well, I wasn't about to chuck the perfectly good hamburger in the garbage, so instead I wrapped it nicely up and tucked it into my purse; figuring he would eat it later that day. Well, we went home and I completely forgot about it! I found the thing a week and a half later, (still good, I might add) in the dark abyss of my purse; thankfully it didn't attract bugs. As I pulled the hamburger out I thought..."What's this?!?! ..Whoa! I just found an old hamburger in my purse. That's a first!"

I've been tagged...Our Dating Story!

1. Where did you meet your husband? I first saw Jason at a BYU swing dance. I was there with my younger brother Mark, who had just got home from his mission, and I was trying to get my bro to ask someone to dance. He was being a little shy (Oh, that's an oxymoron....shy=mark). Anyway, he wouldn't go and ask anyone to dance and so I was trying to show him how to be gutsy and I picked out a really cute guy that danced like a dream, swallowed my Adam's apple (because it had somehow made it's way up into my mouth) and went and asked him to dance.
I then spent the rest of the dances of that fall semester trying to get my boyfriend to go ask someone else to dance, so I could go and conveniently stand in the vicinity of where Jason was standing and look AVAILABLE.
2. What was the first thing you said to your husband? Wanna dance?
3. Where was your first date? Our first date was to a fireside at the Tabernacle in Salt Lake to hear Neal A. Maxwell speak. Poor Jason was so tired, he could hardly keep his eyes open. Then we walked around all the visitor centers until we ran into a guy that I had dated a few months back (left him high and dry).... It wasn't a pretty sight. :)
4. Where was your first kiss? There was this trail head up on the east side of the mountains in SLC that had a huge parking lot and it overlooked the whole valley. (Great place to watch fireworks.) Anyway, we were sitting there ...overlooking the valley when he smacked 1 (or 2) on me. ;) There was also a guy a little ways over that was sitting on the hood of his car playing his bagpipes...it was pretty cool!
5. How long did you date? Our first date was in January and we got engaged August 1st. So about 7 months.
6. Did you have a long or short engagement? It was short... 2 1/2 months.
7. Where did you get engaged? Jason proposed at a candlelight dinner that he had made himself. Chicken Alfredo with salad and cheesecake for dessert. Complete with candles and sparkling cider in plastic goblets. He is such a romantic and I love it! We went to a mountain overlook with a picnic blanket and picnic basket this time in Provo and ate our dinner. After dessert he gave me a speech that was so cute and popped the question with a ring and all! I was so surprised. I thought he was going to say I love you so much and lets start praying about whether or not we should get married. But, no, he was ready and willing to take the plunge. :)
It quite possibly couldn't have had anything to do with the fact that I tried to break up with him 2 days earlier because he just couldn't make up his mind about whether he was ready or not. This was just the reaction that I was hoping for! :)
OH! and the best part was that Amber and Gayla were hiding in the bushes about 20-30 feet away and video taped the whole thing. Thanks guys! That was awesome!
8. Where were you married? Salt Lake Temple
9. How did the reception go? We had 2...1 in UT and 1 in AZ. They were both awesome and both a blur. After our first reception in UT, I just remember being so sad that I was leaving such a big mess for everyone to clean up! I started helping clean the tables and Jason was like "What are you doing?!?!" "We are supposed to leave so that everyone can chase us in their cars!" oh....I didn't know that. :) It was a fun chase.
10. How was the honeymoon? Fab-o! We went to Vegas, then to a beautiful bed and breakfast called The Blue Dolphin Inn at Cambria, CA, then on down to Disneyland for a couple days then over to AZ for the next reception. I think the best part was all the time that we got to spend together in the car. We had spent so much frantic time working and trying to plan the wedding that it was nice it was all over and we could just spent time together. We talked and talked and laughed and ate mini sandwiches and leftover eclairs from the reception until we were sick. :) Good times, good times.
11. Now I tag: Shannon, Katie and Mark and Ashlee!

Introducing....the Fools!

This is what we do in our free time up here in Sammamish. I think we are going to take the show on the road. ha...just try to guess which one is me.

Last night I had a vision....

Okay, so maybe it wasn't a vision but definitely could be in the same category as "grave omen."

I had a dream that I was asked to speak in General Conference.

Would you just die?!? I know I about did!

They told me that my topic to speak on was "kites." Hmmm nothin' strange about that. So I accepted. Except before standing up there I decided that I didn't have enough material. I made a last second addition to my talk and decided to sing "Lets go fly a kite." It went rather well, if I may say so myself and then I commenced with my talk on kites. Well, I ended up going 10 minutes overtime and everyone was so mad at me because I threw the whole thing off schedule.

So I want everyone to be sure to watch this coming session in October and tell me if you like my talk. Oh, and you better be nice to me or else I'll use you for an example and not change your name to protect the innocent.

PS I know this picture has absolutely nothing to do with the post, but there wasn't much to choose from. Sorry.

I've been liberated!

I just had a completely liberating experience. I don't know why, but I usually put off doing the grocery shopping until it is absolutely necessary. Probably because it is so hard to do it with the kids in tow. I don't really like to go on the weekends when Jason is home because I don't want to miss out on being with him for one minute.

Last Saturday, Thatcher had just eaten lunch and had gone down for a nap. Dallin was watching/memorizing his latest Disney flick and Jason mentioned that he needed to do some work. So, I thought, I guess this would be a great time to go grocery shopping, considering there wasn't a slice of bread in the fridge. It was a completely foreign thought to me because I haven't been grocery shopping alone in months...maybe years. I don't know, I'm probably exaggerating. Anyway, it's been a really long time.

I ran upstairs grabbed my purse, my grocery list and my shoes, said goodbye to Jason and ran out the door. I walked to the car and got in...Right then, I had this feeling of euphoria. Does heaven get any better than this?!?! I just ran out to the car and got in and it took me less than 1 minute. I sat in the seat before starting the car, almost having a moment of silence to honor the new me (well at least for the next hour). I have been so used to: making sure everyone is fed, packing a diaper bag with diapers, wipes, snacks, jars of baby food, spoons, extra baggies to put soiled things in, an extra pair of clothes for Thatcher at least, a couple of toys. Making sure everyone has shoes and socks on and making sure to bring a blanket. I strap Thatcher into his infant car seat then load up my arms with: the diaper bag, my purse, a 20 lb "baby" in his car seat...hauling it all out to the car while holding the hand of my toddler, load and lock everyone into place only to find that it's been 45 minutes and you know as soon as you get to the store the kids will be hungry again.

So you can see why I shed a tear as I backed out of the driveway and peeled out while driving away as fast as I could. Barely noticing that I didn't even buckle my seat belt. Watch out Seattle! New Wanda is on the road!

When I got to the store, I strolled down every aisle taking the time to get EVERYTHING on my list and compare the price of each brand of each item. I couldn't help but smile as I passed other mother's trying to muscle their kids all back into the grocery cart. Shopping alone was almost as relaxing as strolling down the sidewalk on a warm spring day, wearing my favorite Easter dress and holding the arm of the man I love. Only in this case the man I love was a grocery cart and my Easter dress was a pair of jeans and a Care Bear T-shirt. No matter, I didn't have to chase Dallin down any aisles, secretly hide from the candy, or discreetly put items back on the shelf that he had been dumping in the cart. When I was done shopping, I walked to the checkout and the cashier probably wondered why I was openly weeping as I ran my debit card and pushed all the buttons myself.

In that hour, I managed to make it to the bank, Costco, Albertson's and even stopped to get gas and still made it home 2 hours earlier than usual!

When I pulled up in the driveway, the garage door immediately went up and Dallin raced outside yelling "Mommy, Mommy!!!" with his arms outstretched. My heart melted and I dropped to my knees to gather him into a huge bear hug. I left all the groceries in the car to go sit in the rocking chair, hold my precious boy and snuggle as we read books together. I realized I missed him so much! And while it was great to get out by myself for a bit, it was even greater to come home.

My new haircut!

When Jason came home from work today, I was in an incredibly good mood for it being the end of the day. It seems like by dinner time I am pretty well spent and I am invariably looking for Jason to be my relief pitcher the moment he walks in the door. But not so today. Thatcher and I met Jason out in the driveway with a hug and a kiss, ...a wink and a smile. I chatted away happily as we walked inside, asking how was his day (or more importantly), how was wake boarding this morning. He then commenced to ask about our day and so I rallied off a list of different adventures (including Dallin getting poop on the wall...yeah there's another one to look forward to, Amber :) but then I stopped mid-sentence and our conversation went like this:

Me "I cut my hair today."

Jason "Oh yeah? It looks good!"

Me "Hon....(pause) my hair is in a ponytail..."

I had to laugh but it was a good thing I was in an exceptional mood. :)

JENOFARC

There have been many times when I have given my email address or my user name out to someone when they have asked, "Jen O Farc? What's Jen O Farc?" Which then I have been inclined to correct..."Not Jen O Farc, ...Jen Of Arc, you know, like Joan of Arc."

You see, back when I was in college (Utah State Rules) :) blah blah blah I was on the ballroom dance team. I soon learned that ballroom heels were very challenging, to say the least. We were in the middle of an intense choreography session of a Mambo routine and we were starting from a move we all called the Joan of Arc. From there the girls were to take 3 steps backward and pull our partners toward us in a "come hither" manner. During the steps backward, we were also changing formation and my partner and I had to move very farrrrrrrrrr. It was a good thing I have long legs or we never would have made it :) Anyway, Mambo is fast and so along with moving farrrrrr we had to to it very quickly. So we started, "Okay everybody, from the Joan of Arc. 5...6...5.6.7.8.1 .....and as I went to take my first very farrrrr and very fast step backward, the heal of my fabulous Latin shoe caught on the flare leg of my dance pants...and down I went. Flat on my back in a HUGE crashing sound. And because I had a hold of my partners hand at the time, I pulled him down too! In a kamikaze effort not to do a flying superman right on top of me, he dove and did a somersault right over my head! But, don't worry we weren't hurt. I was just mortified. And that doesn't even seem like a strong enough word for how embarrassed I was. I really just wanted to .....well, to die, to put it bluntly.

After jumping back up to my feet and assuring everyone, yes yes yes! we were alright! The director said, " Okay everyone, lets try that again! Take it from the ....Jen of Arc". And in my own secret way of using the pseudonym over and over again, I will never live it down.