Mastering the "Imperious" curse!

Don't Worry, No Spoilers!

I just finished the last Harry Potter book a few days ago and I can't even begin to imagine the kind of pressure that it would be to know that the whole world is waiting for you to wind up this fabulous saga that has had so many people on the edge of their seats for years! Whew!

In the Deathly Hallows, Harry says that "you have to mean it when you are trying to execute a curse." This was the exact little tidbit of information that was just what I needed to hone my own magical powers.

You see, last Friday Jason was working late. Not just an hour or two...but about 9 hours late. His boss had been out of town for the past few weeks visiting family in Turkey and so his whole team was trying frantically get caught up to where they needed to be by the time he returns on Monday. Finally, by about 3 am he was home and we could go to bed. I don't know what it is about being home alone at night, but I kept hearing subtle noises downstairs, I was anxious and sleep was eluding me. After finally going to bed, I slept like a baby because the mantle of defender and protector of the family was no longer on my shoulders....it was on Jason's. Though I don't really think he noticed the mantle because he slept like a hundred year old man that had fallen and was not gettin' up any time soon.

The next morning came all too quickly and it's just our tough-luck that Dallin is so conscientious about getting up every morning at the same time. Even when I keep him up until almost midnight the night before to help me safeguard our home against impending destruction, he is at my bedside at 7am....bawling. This kid wanted apple juice and he wanted it yesterday. At roughly the same time, Thatcher started crying in his bed. I jumped up and in a very soothing voice tried to explain to Dallin that Thatcher was crying too and I needed to get him up before I could get Dallin some apple juice.

Well, this sort of reasoning just doesn't sit well with an ornery 2 year old. I picked Thatcher up out of his crib and immediately took him to the changing table where I was able to asses the situation. Dallin was still howling at my feet and I realized that Thatcher was wet through his pajamas. Chaos. The great thing about having 2 kids in our home, is that there are also 2 parents and so I decided to call in reinforcements. "Jason?....Hon, can you please get up and get Dallin some apple juice while I change Thatcher? Jason lifted his head up off the pillow, looked at me and even responded "sure." There was absolutely no action, other than laying his head back onto his pillow and letting his eyes roll back into his head. By this time, Thatcher had joined in the wailing because he realized that he hadn't eating in about 12 hours and he was dog-hungry. So I tried again. "Jason" I said a little louder, "can you help me?" After all, I had stayed up until 3 am also, and I was still able to function. This time he didn't even move. Just as I was about to be engulfed into an element of "Woe is Me" I heard a voice in my head. I recognized the voice to be none other than that of Harry Potter. He said to me, "Use the Imperious Curse."

For those of you that don't know, when you hex someone with the Imperious Curse you can make them do whatever you want them to do...but you have to mean it when you cast the curse. So, dropping my voice an octave lower I spoke as if a voice from above was summoning, "Jason, can you please get Dallin some apple juice from downstairs." Immediately, Jason threw back the covers and with eyes half-closed, jumped up and took 2 steps toward me then stopped. He hesitated for only a moment then turned on his heels and went downstairs. He got Dallin some apple juice, walked back to bed and flopped back in the covers. I was amazed! It had worked and I didn't even have a wand! The great thing about the Imperious Curse is that later he didn't even remember what I had made him do!

Hogwarts here I come!

Uncontainable....

Dallin has reached a pivotal point in his life where I can no longer contain him. :) It happened one morning about a couple of months ago when I was taking care of Thatcher. I left Dallin watching a movie and went into my bedroom to to change Thatcher's diaper and help him fall asleep for his morning nap.

Now, let me just explain something...a good friend of mine told me that the trick to potty training was to let your child run around naked because he won't like the feeling of "going" on himself and after just a few accidents, he will catch on.

Well, this particular day I was trying the "naked potty training" trick. After getting Thatcher to go to sleep, my instincts kicked in as I realized that ....it was very quiet. That only means 1 of 2 things to a mother of a 2 yr old boy: either he is getting into something he shouldn't or he is making a big mess. I got up quickly and started walking stealthily through the house. I like to sneak up on him and quietly watch from behind a corner so I know what he has really been doing. If he hears me coming, he tries to conceal the evidence before I get there.

As I went from room to room, I suddenly began to worry as I realized he wasn't in the house. I ran to the backyard and called his name....nothing. I ran to the front door, but the child-lock door knob was still in place and the dead bolt was locked. My next thought was the garage....as I neared the door, I noticed the child-lock handle had been taken off the door knob. My heart began to race as I thought of all the cleaner, WD-40 and yard chemicals that were still on the floor of the garage because I just hadn't made time to find a child-proof place for them to go yet. I flung open the door and found, to my immense relief, my sneaky guy perfectly safe and riding his bike commando style!

Since this happened, Dallin has mastered the art of taking off the child-proof door knob and sneaking outside. I just can't contain him. There have been many times since, where I have found him in the front yard, helmet on his head and riding his bike out in the cul-de-sac. All I can say is ....at least he has the good sense to wear his helmet.

JENOFARC

There have been many times when I have given my email address or my user name out to someone when they have asked, "Jen O Farc? What's Jen O Farc?" Which then I have been inclined to correct..."Not Jen O Farc, ...Jen Of Arc, you know, like Joan of Arc."

You see, back when I was in college (Utah State Rules) :) blah blah blah I was on the ballroom dance team. I soon learned that ballroom heels were very challenging, to say the least. We were in the middle of an intense choreography session of a Mambo routine and we were starting from a move we all called the Joan of Arc. From there the girls were to take 3 steps backward and pull our partners toward us in a "come hither" manner. During the steps backward, we were also changing formation and my partner and I had to move very farrrrrrrrrr. It was a good thing I have long legs or we never would have made it :) Anyway, Mambo is fast and so along with moving farrrrrr we had to to it very quickly. So we started, "Okay everybody, from the Joan of Arc. 5...6...5.6.7.8.1 .....and as I went to take my first very farrrrr and very fast step backward, the heal of my fabulous Latin shoe caught on the flare leg of my dance pants...and down I went. Flat on my back in a HUGE crashing sound. And because I had a hold of my partners hand at the time, I pulled him down too! In a kamikaze effort not to do a flying superman right on top of me, he dove and did a somersault right over my head! But, don't worry we weren't hurt. I was just mortified. And that doesn't even seem like a strong enough word for how embarrassed I was. I really just wanted to .....well, to die, to put it bluntly.

After jumping back up to my feet and assuring everyone, yes yes yes! we were alright! The director said, " Okay everyone, lets try that again! Take it from the ....Jen of Arc". And in my own secret way of using the pseudonym over and over again, I will never live it down.

Like Father, Like Son...

So Dallin is doing pretty well at potty training lately. It's just so hard for him to go ...how shall I put this...number 2... on the potty. Well, one evening, just after dinner I caught him in the act and so I immediately rushed him off to the bathroom, just hoping that I caught him in time. Well, it turned out that I did (I think my Mother Reflexes have really started flourishing since having a 2 yr old). I told him to come out and announce the grand news to everyone and relish in the glory of his monumental accomplishment. He puffed out his chest and swaggered back to the living room where he announced to everyone, "I did a big one....(pause) LIKE DADDY!"

On The Map...

So, for the longest time I figured that we were covered on the "our family has a blog too" status because Jason has done such a fabulous job at keeping everyone up to date with his blog and pictures of our family. And I guess we are covered in that area but, I still felt a longing....almost a "hey, I want to be included in the oh so popular blog group thing too!" Not that I was waiting for an invitation or anything, (Jason already gave me plenty of those) I just didn't have the right motivation until now. Well, I will let you all in on a little secret of mine. :) And it starts with these little words, "I am an addict." It's true. Actually I call it more of a passion, but Jason insists that it's a sickness and it's called books. That's not the secret. The secret is that I have had this life long ambition of someday writing a book ....and last week I actually started. About a week before that I checked out a few books on writing fiction from the library and one of the first points in there is that you need to write and write and write. You know, like exercise and practice makes perfect. So here I am...blogging. I don't really know what kind of blog this will be...family blog? WA Olson's blog? Jen's innermost thoughts blog? Our cute boys are funny blog? hmmm probably all of the above. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy! OH And PS Jeremy and Amy you are officially invited to the wonderful land of blog. :)